I am writing this post instead of doing what in my flesh I really want to do which is to climb into a hole and just stay there. Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever do something and then think back on it and think about how foolish, silly, ridiculous, or wrong it was and just replay it over and over in your mind? I do and it’s my greatest weakness. It’s also exactly where I am right now. Ugh!
So today, instead of trying to run and hide from my mistake (which I can’t) or try to ignore it until hopefully I get occupied enough to forget (could happen in time but hasn’t just yet), I’m going to take a different approach and try to face it head on. In this particular case I believe that it is the right thing to do…though it isn’t easy.
So what’s all the turmoil about? My previous blog post…posted on BOTH of my blogs (both since reverted to drafts). Yeah, my “oh no, you messed up” (talking to myself) was quite publicly announced for all the world to see. Not cool. And worse, it is of what was my understanding of scripture that was likely incorrect; REALLY not cool.
My last post entitled The Truth about Adoption was ehhh, maybe not quite so true (that’s ironic). It isn’t that I lied or embellished, I wouldn’t do that…not intentionally anyway. It’s that I had never been taught on a topic, then heard someone I do not know their pastoral background (if they even have one) speak of it (possibly incorrectly), saw a Facebook post that supported this teaching (interestingly enough after I had already determined I would post about it), and enthusiastically shared this (mistruth) WHEN I KNOW I am not qualified in ANY WAY to be teaching the Scriptures. Again, UGH!
I need to correct myself for many reasons:
1) I need to admit when I am wrong and be a mature adult about it (even when I don’t feel like it).
2) In addition to not-yet-believers, there are young people who read my blog and I would be heartbroken to know that they believed something I said about the scripture that is wrong.
3) Certainly someone (or rather, some people) already know I was likely wrong and may now choose to disregard anything else I say.
4) I need to stop being a sissy and grow up! I don’t want to give power to the enemy (or my flesh) and allow my mistakes and embarrassment to eat away at me; I would rather grow from my mistakes and get rid of this kind of thinking and self-condemnation that could destroy me…besides, isn’t this blog (Following His Footsteps in Faith) really about my walk with Christ and spiritual growth, flaws, stumbles, and all?
So here it is. In my last post I shared with great enthusiasm and wonder over the claim that Jesus’ adoption by Joseph qualified Him as a descendant from the Davidic bloodline. Most likely that is incorrect, as beautiful as that sounds. (Here is the point where I am reminding myself that the Gospel is no less beautiful or amazing to those who have not yet accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior because of my blunder).
When I tell you that I am incredibly grateful to the person who sent me a very loving email to point out this inaccuracy I truly mean it. It’s not easy to tenderly and lovingly convey ones heart in a situation like that though this person did a wonderful job, so I am thankful. In short, this person shared that he had once did a study with others in his church about Jesus’ lineage and an adoption by Joseph was not something that was Scripturally supported, however there were other reasons for the fulfilled prophecy that Jesus’ would be of the Davidic bloodline (I’ll not attempt to throw out this other theology). So what is a girl to do but turn to…Google for answers.
What I quickly found was that many scholars are not in agreement on the answer to this. While my heart first dropped to my stomach thinking that I posted some fantasy idea about the Gospel, it was then not such a big deal if many scholars believe the same thing; what could it hurt. But the thoughts would not leave my mind; I had to be sure I wasn’t posting something completely wrong. It is the Gospel, for crying out loud; that would be NOT a good thing in my book.
So last night I tried to remember the website that I have had trusted friends, and family in Christ, direct me to before for answers to questions in scripture. I found it. I also found my question about adoption and their answer. While I’ll admit I was not completely tracking all that I was reading, one thing was for certain, they did not hold to the belief in any way that Joseph adopted Jesus.
So yeah…I feel foolish and embarrassed. I know the Lord forgives me. I know He loves my heart and enthusiasm for Him and His perfect plan. I know that when I don’t accept His forgiveness and play these things over and over in my head, and allow for self-condemnation, that I am not trusting in Him and I am being prideful because my focus is on myself, even if it is not puffed up pride it is still self-centeredness. I don’t say that to further condemn myself but rather to point out an area where I need to trust God greater. I know He is using this situation to grow me and teach me, so I’m hopefully going to be able to praise Him for this when it’s all said and done. Hopefully. lol
Anyway, I will do my best to focus sharing my spiritual journey without giving lessons in scripture. I will also continue to read and learn for myself beyond the teachings I sit under because this further proves that man is…well, human and imperfect. I have sat and listened and just accepted for way too long and that has only recently changed to where I am doing my own reading and searching using a variety of teachings…not just one denomination or church affiliation.
So I ask you to please accept my humble apologies and know that even if Joseph didn’t adopt Jesus that God chose to adopt us. There is no doubt that this is the Father’s heart and nothing can change that.