Thursday, May 16, 2013
There has been undeniable progress, I dare call a breakthrough, which has been amazing! Not one of manipulation, couldn’t even be mistaken as anything but genuine.
My daughter, who says she is too old to hold hands (I know she wants to but the ideas of what’s age appropriate are concerns that fill her head), is physically seeking closeness to me like never before. She seeks me out just to be near…even if she repeatedly says in a whiney, playful voice, “Moooom, I’m borrrrrred!” she lays on the bed or couch next to me with her head now on my shoulder, the side of her upper body pressed against mine. She will throw BOTH legs over mine and move in close to me. If she was any closer she’s be completely on top of me! She is seeking physical contact and comfort from me like she hasn’t done before.
If you are not familiar with attachment issues, just know that this pretty significant progress..she is letting me be her mom!! AND THAT'S THE GOAL!
She says I can’t put her on my lap and rock her in the rocking chair. lol Physically that would be awkward and difficult because she is bigger than me, but she says we could swing together on a porch swing; I’m thinking of swinging with her, with her head on my lap or something (wanting to meet those infant and toddler age needs that she missed out on). We have a pretty cool pallet fence and I’m thinking we could make a neat pallet swing for the porch then just add cushions. Perhaps it is a project we can work on together with the goal of swinging together.
Also, I have reached out to her friend’s mom about having a girls day out just moms and daughters (I would limit this outing to just my one daughter). This friend and her mother have an obviously strong relationship, I think this friend is a really nice girl, and her mama lovingly keeps close tabs on her…my daughter playfully called her mama a “stalker.” lol The thing is, my daughter is seeing what a healthy mother-daughter relationship looks like outside of our family. It doesn’t matter if she sees it in our family, because jealousy and things of that nature can cloud her vision. She also knows that both the mother and daughter really do love each other and cherish their relationship, and that this mother’s involvement and boundaries is not because she hates her daughter or wants to torture her, but because she loves her. So I hope we will get to spend time with them together. We are talking about perhaps getting pedicures and having lunch. I never get pedicures so it makes it particularly exciting for me. I hope we can arrange something soon, though it may be a few weeks with Samantha coming in to town and preparing for Anthony’s graduation and departure for Basic Training in less than 2 weeks.
In any case, sweet, sweet progress. Thank you, Jesus!